How my self-care journey began.

If you don't care for you, who will?

Self-care has become one of those words that seems to be everywhere. Depending on who you ask, it apparently involves bubble baths, expensive creams, drinking green juices that taste like you've just mowed the lawn, meditation, or doing yoga on a beach somewhere at sunrise. If those things genuinely make you feel good, then great. But over the years I've come to realise self-care is much simpler than that. For me, it isn't about following the latest trend or doing something because someone says it's "good for you". It's about taking the time to stop, think and ask yourself one simple question...

Does this genuinley support my health and wellbeing? It sounds simple, but answering that question has honestly changed my life.

I was born with Spina Bifida, which has affected my urinary tract system, kidneys, and mobility throughout my life. As a baby and young child, I underwent numerous surgeries on my spine, urinary tract, feet and hips. At the time, it was simply life as I knew it. Despite everything, I always seemed to bounce back. Looking back now, I think I believed I was invincible.
Then, in 2003, I went into kidney failure.
That was probably the first time I truly realised I wasn't invincible after all.
The following year I underwent a kidney transplant. In the years since, I've also been diagnosed with lymphoedema, experienced bouts of cellulitis, sepsis and a bulging disc, and eventually lost the mobility I had maintained for most of my life and, if I'm honest, probably taken for granted. None of those experiences happened overnight, but together they changed the way I looked at my health. Instead of assuming my body would always cope, I began asking myself what I could do to better support it.

For me self-care didn't begin with one big decision.... It began with lots of small ones.

Not because someone on social media suggested them. Not because they were fashionable. And certainly not because I wanted to become perfect.
I spent a lot of time researching, soul-searching and thinking critically about the choices I was making.
Was I about to follow another trend?
Or did this actually make sense for me?
Did it genuinely support my health in a manageable way without being extreme or causing harm?
Little by little, I began choosing habits that I felt would benefit me and letting go of those that didn't.

One of the simplest changes I made - Was also one of the easiest.

Each morning I began rehydrating my body before anything else.
Usually that means filtered water with fresh lemon juice at room temperature, so I preserve as much of the Vitamin C as possible. If lemons happen to be expensive because they're out of season, I happily swap them for a herbal tea using herbs growing in pots around my home.
Now, before anyone thinks I've become some sort of saint...
There are still mornings when coffee wins.
Sometimes I still reach for the caffeine first and have my lemon water or herbal tea a little later.

- I'm certainly not perfect!

But I always make sure I drink water first. After hours of sleep, my body deserves that simple act of care. So have you drank some water today? If not drink a glass of water right now.
It isn't the lemon that makes the difference.
It's the habit of beginning the day by doing something supportive for myself.
Looking back, I've realised that's what self-care really became.
Not one dramatic lifestyle overhaul.
Just one thoughtful choice after another.

Creating my own body balm was another act of self-care.

I wanted to know exactly what I was putting on my skin and, therefore, what was being absorbed into my body. After my kidney transplant, I became much more aware that my kidneys and liver were responsible for filtering everything I exposed myself to. If I could reduce that amount of stress in some small way, then why wouldn't I?
What started as something I made purely for myself became something much bigger than I ever imagined.
It became Quiet Lily. Looking back now, I realise Quiet Lily wasn't really born from wanting to start a business. It was born from wanting to care for myself.

Another habit that has made a real difference is trying to go to bed a little earlier.

Not because someone told me I should.

Because I've learnt that when I do, I wake feeling brighter, more focused and with enough time to enjoy the stillness before the day begins.

Those quiet moments before dawn have become some of my favourite moments of the day. They give me time to stretch my body, work on my strength, enjoy a coffee and simply prepare myself for whatever the day might bring. I've discovered that when I begin my day well, I'm far more likely to continue making good choices throughout it. Again, it's not about perfection. It's about creating habits that genuinely support me.

When I look back over the years, I realise there were times when I did things simply because everyone else seemed to be doing them. If something was popular, I assumed it must be the right thing to do. Now I find myself asking a different question.

Does this genuinely support my health?

Sometimes the answer is yes. Sometimes it's no.

And sometimes it's simply, "Not for me."

I've learnt that it's okay not to follow every trend or every opinion. I've also learnt that nobody knows my body as well as I do. That doesn't mean I ignore medical advice. Far from it. It means I work alongside conventional medicine while also taking responsibility for the choices that are within my control.

When I look back, I realise almost every improvement in my health began with one small act of self-care.
Not one dramatic decision.
Not one miracle product.
Not one perfect routine.
Just many thoughtful choices, repeated over time. I didn't become healthier overnight. I slowly changed what I consumed, the products I used, the quality of my environment and the habits I practised each day.
Over time those choices simply became part of how I live.

Self-care isn't about striving to become someone else.

It isn't about fear, perfection or trying to avoid ever becoming unwell. For me, it's about caring enough for yourself to become more of who you already are. It's about taking responsibility for the things you can influence, while accepting there will always be things you can't. That shift in thinking has given me something far more valuable than I ever expected. It has given me confidence.
Confidence to think critically.
Confidence to ask questions.
Confidence to make decisions that feel right for me.
And confidence to accept that my path doesn't have to look like everyone else's.

If someone had told me twenty years ago that making a body balm for myself would eventually grow into Quiet Lily, I probably would have laughed.
Yet here we are.
What began as a small act of self-care has grown into something that allows me to share not only products, but a way of thinking that has genuinely improved my own life.
If there's one thing I've learnt, it's this.
Self-care doesn't have to be expensive.
It doesn't have to be complicated.
And it certainly doesn't have to look like someone else's version of it.
Sometimes it's simply one small decision.
Then another.
And another.
Those small choices have improved far more than my health or my skin.
They've changed how I care for myself, the confidence I have in making decisions that feel right for me, and ultimately, the quality of my life.

If my story encourages just one person to pause, think a little more deeply, and begin making small choices that genuinely support their own wellbeing, then sharing it has been worthwhile.

Thanks for reading. Suze.